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A guy I was seeing who was separated—not divorced was still sleeping with his ex.

(I found out years later, but it still hurt like hell.) That said, I still feel like dating someone who is separated is no worse than dating someone who is recently divorced or for that matter, divorced.

I’m not looking to rush back into a marriage, but I’m looking to date with an intent on finding a relationship.

It’s what feels right for me and I feel ready for it.

My divorce is amicable and I maintain a good relationship with my ex.

There’s no love there though, we’ve clearly moved on. I have my stuff together…own my own place, pursuing an MBA, good job, do the best for my kids, and I’m in a good place right now.

It wasn’t a question of whether he and his wife were going to divorce – the relationship was toxic, the lawyers were in place, it was definitely over. They were well-matched and perfectly adorable together. You can listen to all these stories, but they won’t inform YOUR situation.

I don’t have a wide network of people where I live, so I’m online.

The thing is, every divorce story is different, every situation unique.

I think that people later in life make commitments of the heart, and whether or not they are monogamous has nothing to do with a divorce decree.

But, most likely, because he’s still emotionally reeling from the death of his relationship. It’s not that he didn’t care about her; it’s that he wasn’t ready for another commitment so soon after declaring his bachelorhood….

I wrote about this extensively here, in a post called “When Do You Begin Dating Again After a Long-Term Relationship or Marriage? And you’re certainly not ready to love with reckless abandon. So, Sara, like most situations that stymie my readers, the answer isn’t as obvious as “dump him” or “go for it.” It depends on the man, the nature of his divorce, his emotional availability, and his ability to get in touch with himself.

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