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He said he didn't want to use titles because he was afraid of getting into a relationship with someone who has also become his best friend.

Now after a month of steady dating he's calling our relationship a "monogamous non-relationship." Will he ever be ready to call me his girlfriend? *Yes, there is a difference, but this guy's answers set off wanker alarm bells for me.

As far as this guy and his "monogamous nonrelationship" goes, there are two possibilities. Are you OK with not having a BF as long as you know where you stand?

I make an emotional investment and expect the other person to follow through on his end by asking me out or inviting me over, but it doesn’t happen.

You can be in a monogamous relationship that is not committed: He only sleeps with her but he's not committed to the relationship…even if this hypothetical guy and girl stay together for ever, he could still only be into it half-heartedly.

You can have a committed relationship that is not monogamous.

And they don’t have to…until we say, “Besides me, are you seeing anyone? For your sake and the sake of honesty, this is a good thing. Another (lesser) fear these guys have is that when the word “boyfriend” is pinned to their shirts, things change, you stop having fun, fights start and everyone has to act differently. See if you align and go from there.“Defining the relationship should feel like a mutual, positive, logical next step,” my friend Bret said.

If you feel weird about the situation, if you’re no longer comfy in the ambiguity, speak your mind. Be prepared for the “wrong answer,” but then you’re free to move on — Beyoncé, should you take this or should I? My friend Monty said, “It’s been five years since I’ve been in a relationship. ”Another friend, Casey, offered a bit of insight: “We can feel backed into a corner when you bring up ‘the talk,’ like we’re being accused of something and about to get in trouble.” He suggested trying to figure out where the guy’s mind is headed instead.




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