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Do something where you'll have something to talk about. On the other hand, you don't want to put your date, yourself or your son in embarrassing situations. Question from Denise: Are online dating sites good ways to meet people? You have to try different sites to see which ones feel comfortable for you, and which ones have tools that you think will create a better chance of a good relationship. But I think third date it starts to up the ante, and by the fifth date there is some pressure for some sexuality.

That is to say, you are a mature woman and you want to date, so I think you need to talk to your son and tell him that you are going to start dating again. But there is more to love than hair color, and I think people pick who they love on other criteria.

Question from Stacy: I was thinking of joining a local art group that meets once a week as a way of meeting someone who shares my interests and is active — not the couch potato type. But just remember if it's a small group, it needs to have new people cycling in, or you won't be able to get any chance at meeting somebody important in your life.

Question from Guest: I am 59, and all of the men that I see are interested in younger women.

I think people should go out with the people they are attracted to.

We don't call Demi Moore a cougar — we just think of her as beautiful, famous, talented, and with good taste. But I don't think that attraction is all about how you look. And if you pick somebody who you feel good with, your friends will be happy for you. You will be around someone who shares your passions, and have a lot to discuss.

PS: He likes her wisdom, her energy, her self-knowledge, her acceptance of him.Question from Janet: I don't even know where to begin. Almost all activities have either singles groups or mixed groups of singles and married people who are all devoted to the activity at hand.But remember, if you don't find someone interesting in the group, you should leave — don't get stuck in a place where there is no opportunity to meet someone.You can go online late at night and you can use your lunch hour to have coffee with the people you meet. The important point is that people who have kids learn pretty quickly that they need someone who also has kids, and guys are going to look for that, too.Just remember, if something terrible happened — let's say you had to go to a funeral — you'd find the time for it. Question from Denise: I'm in school, working and a mother of 7- and 15-year-olds. They want someone who has the capacity to understand children's needs, just like you do.




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Before online dating, this would have been a fruitless quest, but now, at any time of the day, no matter where you are, you are just a few screens away from sending a message to your very specific dream man. Throughout all our interviews—and in research on the subject—this is a consistent finding: in online dating, women get a ton more attention than men.


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