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etc etc.) high sensitivity and a somewhat creative philosophical disposition, knowing that the guy likes me from the start is very important for me.If I feel at any point that he might be disinterested or not really that enthusiastic about it, I lose faith (though not necessarily interest) and will resort to building barriers to protect my emotional self, which in turn negatively affects my own response and the way I express myself.This has helped to foster a healthy attitude to resolving conflicts (which we do remarkably well) and admittedly is also a result of a combination of some very important, complementary character traits.We are both strong-headed and can be stubborn and proud for example, but we don't feel like we're compromising our self-image or pride or losing face if one apologises to the other, or spontaneously expresses our feelings for the other for fear of seeming too 'clingy'; something which we have both found difficult in previous relationships.I'm a woman, and personally prefer an honest, straight-forward man.I'm aware that 'playing it cool' isn't necessarily dishonest, but for someone like me with certain types of insecurity issues (does he like me?

It sounds like you began with good intentions to start the relationship slowly, but you may want to take it even slower with your next relationship. You said you started things slow but the intensity slowly ramped up. And in reality, regardless of the theories, when the guy takes things slower, and paces himself and his emotions, and doesn't fall head over heels for the girl right from the start, the results are much better for the guy on many levels. Although there are situations where it works out great for the couple, these situations would have worked out well even if they had taken things slowly.

Break-ups, as you know, are not easy, especially when the relationship seemed to be going so well.

You are asking essentially two questions here: 1) why she would have a change of heart so abruptly, and 2) why such a short relationship could hurt like a much longer term relationship. Given what you describe about your ex’s behavior, it is possible that she terminated the relationship because of having an avoidant attachment style, meaning that she is fearful about entering and becoming too close to others.

So, when the relationship ends, it is like going through physical withdrawal from a drug. I've found through personal experience and through the experience of my clients that our relationships are always much more mutually easy and smooth when the guy lets the woman be the one to talk about their future plans, trips and dates, especially in the beginning (3 months is most certainly the beginning). See her once a week for the first few months (yes, even if she wants to see you more). IF she is really the right woman for you, then going slow is only going to help you build a much stronger, longer lasting relationship.

Due to increased interdependence, you may also have been starting to feel like a couple in the short time you were together, which means that you may have started seeing your identity as “we” rather than “me.” When the relationship ends, it is hard to go back to “me,” regardless of the amount of time you were really together. You, on the other hand, play the role of the challenge. If you're talking about a future together then she knows how interested you are. If she's the wrong woman for you then going slow will help you keep your emotions in check (and not feel so disappointed) and it will give you the distance to more accurately see what her real feelings towards you are.

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