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Not long after I did, would come that ever burning question, “Wait, you're 31 and you have an 11 year old? Suddenly the conversation stops, and they disappear. There goes another potential match off into the potential match graveyard that has become the list of contacts in my phone. I am the dad in Target, browsing the toy section with my 4-year-old as he tries to pick “just one.” I'm a little annoyed that he's taking so long, but so happy just watching him. “Picking out a toy is tough,” I say to him, laughing a little.

Now might be a good time to channel your energy towards your kids as you transition during your divorce, so you might not have a ton of energy for dating right now anyway. However, in my years as a therapist, I have found that secrets can do incredible damage to a relationship, even when well-intentioned.After all, if her beloved dad does it, it has to be okay, right?It’s easy to see how harmful this type of discourse might be to your children, even if you think it’s just innocent joking. Spend some time getting reacquainted with your kids.Mom won’t be around anymore, so that means that if she used to encourage dad-and-daughter time or that if she would stick up and be the bad guy so you could be the good-time parent, all that is going to change.Now, it’s going to be up to you to learn how to discipline on your own, as well as how to spend time with your kids all on your own.




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