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A slightly more mature lady has friends—but she sure as shit doesn’t need their permission to live her life.

Hard as it may be to imagine a world before Facebook, the fact is, there was one—and I, along with many of my lady cohorts, lived in it. I don’t need to be omnipresent, liking everything he says or does, and I don’t have to monitor what I say, worrying it’ll be taken a certain way.

“I find it comforting to know that her life goes on when I’m not around,” he said. Plus, I’m talking about outside of the bedroom as well. etc.) But many are not.** She’s choosier, and, unlike the 26-year-olds who think they’ll drop dead if they’re not engaged by 27, married at 28, and prego before 30, she’s looking at life a little differently now.

(This is code for, “I dread clingy girls who abandon their own ships the moment we have sex, and set up camp on my shore.”) Also, the fact that an older woman has her own money means she likely worked hard to get it. You may buy into the idea that all older women are “desperate.” Granted, some are. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t want marriage/kids, because she might—but if so, she’ll be pretty clear about it up front.

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drinking, flirting with women, and behaving like a frat boy may be the norm.“They don’t want to miss out on being part of their group, with whom they glean their identity.”Although you may be ready to walk down the aisle, it can be hard to get a younger man to put a ring on it.“In some cases, a younger guy is developmentally in a different place,” says psychotherapist Robi Ludwig.Dating someone younger—whether you’re two or three years his senior or are talking cougar territory—certainly can work (look at Eva Longoria and her 4-years younger beau), but being an “older woman” in a relationship does tend to come with certain perks and downfalls.If you want to make things work, be sure you can handle the following. Men reach their sexual prime in their twenties due to a spike in testosterone, while women typically reach theirs in their 30s and 40s.

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Women like to create a sense of mystery, and you should be conveying this yourself, too. When a guy says this to us on a first date, it gives us the impression that he is “testing the waters” because he is unsure if we will agree.

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It’s not the green stuff, it’s the values that generate issues and cause arguments. We're passionate, supportive and accepting of what the other person is doing in their personal life. We each had things we wanted to get done personally. Too often we show more respect to strangers than to those we love. But rather than be irritated by our differences, we revel in them. Finding your dharma, or what your unique service is to the planet, creating a larger context of meaning in life, puts the little stuff in perspective and makes it easy to process.

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Also unique to the United States (as compared to other slaveholding countries) was the exclusion of anti-slavery (and slaves) from the independence struggle. The system of white supremacy was thus extended to an exclusion of people of color from the nationality and polity. The pattern regarding Native Americans was much different. Rather, they fought to retain what territorial and political autonomy they could in their own nations/tribes/territories in the face of recurrent Indian wars. The Irish and other European immigrants became white the day they landed on these shores, but some were treated as “second class whites” for varying periods of time.

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