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When the concept was coined, it was a metric by which men could judge the worth of a woman — if she was a virgin, she’d fetch a higher dowry for her hand.

Now that the transactional nature of marriage between a man and a woman’s father has changed, no one’s entirely sure what to make of virginity.

In 2015, a study by San Diego State University determined that Generation X and Baby Boomers tended to cram in more sexual partners before getting married at an earlier age than millennials do, although the millennial generation doesn’t tend to put the same constraints on itself as far as young marriage.

Perhaps because earlier generations felt pressure to get married as soon as possible, they auditioned a bunch of candidates (10-11 on average) before settling down with one in their early 20s.

In fact, modern dating has seen The Virgin become less of an attainable prize for men and more of a social pariah.

Centuries ago, if a woman had enjoyed a penis inside her vagina prior to meeting you, she was a whore.

The answer, as with most things sexual, is complicated.

Of course, these statistics are based on a heteronormative (and many would say misogynist) definition of virginity.Also, interestingly, even activities that most people surveyed by the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality called “not sex” considered acts of cheating if enjoyed with someone other than one’s partner.So, by that definition, masturbating next to someone to orgasm doesn’t count as losing one’s virginity, but if one were to masturbate with someone who isn’t their committed partner, they’ve cheated — at least, 95 percent of the survey respondents thought so.The disconnect between our experience and what our peers go through still disturbs people my age, a decade later, because many of us want to feel that our behaviors, particularly sexual, fall into the norm.So among Americans, when and how do most people lose their virginities?




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