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I have a beautiful daughter who is 24 years old and ever since high school she has dated one needy loser after another.

Her heart gets broken every time and each time she meets someone new, they always seem to be nice at first but then she finds out they lie, they cheat, etc. His mother and father both have died, so I know she feels sorry for him and beleive me, he uses the guilt trip on her and it works.

There are also more alternative methods that can help speed the process along.

Let me know if you want to hear more along these lines.

I have had many talks with her and have exhausted all efforts but will never give up on her. I finally gave up Mr exciting- bad boy and went for a stable nice guy. We started out as friends first because he was just too nice, no drama. My thing was I thought I could change him for the better. What made me open my eyes was a friend I met in college.

I guess, I had to get in enough pain to try the nice guy. He told me the same thing all my friends and parents told me, but he didn't know the WHOLE situation.

She needs to learn that there are consequences for her actions and that she is a separate individual to you..you describe how you "exhaust every effort (to get her to change her choices or "see the light"), you are showing her that this is how you love someone.

So, maybe she, in turn, is going ahead and and exhasting all her efforts to make her boyfriend change becasue she thinks this is what love is.

I hope counseling helps your daughter because i really don't have an answer of how to make her see your point.

So if we thought she would be a rocket scientist we may find out we have a dancer or a chef.. What really frightens us is when we find them in relationships that we don't feel are healthy for them. If we say too much we drive them towards the other person. After all, when all is said and done, all we really want for our children is that they are happy. If this young man loves her and makes her happy, well good for all of you. If not, then the counselor has her work cut out for her and you are still there for love and support whatever happens. He sounds like someone who needs that counseling in order to be a stable person. You know, the more she trys to love and help these losers, the worse they probably become.

If we say nothing we are abandoning them to their own choices and of course they do not have our experience so this is risky. You have encouraged her to get counseling and she is doing so. Now it is between her and her counselor or counselors (if she doesn't feel this one is working for her) and herself. Is your daughters counselor someone whom you can trust? Similarly, the more you focus on helping her, the worse she might become.

Especially at her age, she will have to choose her life choices. Hi C., Unfortunately there are two things we don't bank on when we are raising our beautiful children. If this is her direction, she will need your love as always and your support.....in her career choices and her mate. I don't know if you two are Oprah fans, but Oprah's latest book is suppose to be a real life changer! This book could really help your daughter find her true purpose and gain some confidence in her self and find out that she doesn't need to be with losers to feel better. SS Has she asked the question, "Am I dating to date, or dating for marriage? Keep it up no matter how tuff it may be at times Hi, I think you have to be really careful, delicate and back off a bit.

We as moms can influence our kids by example and loving advice. 1.) that they rarely turn out the way we thought they would and 2.) we may not be happy with their choice of mates. Once we realize that they are who they are and not much different than they ever were we can continue to love them unconditionally as who they turned out to be. I know you will be there for her...I know you think she is a very bright and competent person. So let's think about what would happen if we stood back and let her make her own decisions and just took on the roll of supporter instead of life coach. Maybe you both can sign up for her live work shop thats starting on Monday night on the internet. " I am so thrilled that you have a close relationship with her. This boy whom she is dating sounds like someone she should run away FROM as fast as her legs can carry her. I'd also suggest to her that she take a break from this guy to gain a little perspective. Went through the same thing as you daughter only I was a bit younger. She is in counselling and you are praying so those seem to be great steps in the right direction.




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