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So here’s my advice: Delete Tinder now and go about your life happy and unshackled, safe in the knowledge that you will never having to a reply to another ‘heyyyyy, how wuz yr weekend? When it comes to dating, you should most certainly exploit your friends.

Unless they are dribbling losers who sit at home all day watching then they have friends and even better – friends of friends – who they can set you up with.

Natural History Museum lates is a great date night. Less so if you used to date someone who works at the Natural History Museum and you have to spend the whole night hoping you don't see them.32. So yes the Internet is great, but over-reliance on dating websites is a cardinal sin punishable by a lifetime of solitary confinement watching There I said it. Endless swiping has not only made us the judgiest, most superficial daters in history, it has also made dates, or the ghostly spectre of dates seem so accessible that we’ve stopped bothering with the actual 3D people all around us.In fact, Brad Pitt just walked past wearing a hula hoop and a licking a Cornetto and you didn’t even notice because you were looking at pictures of people you’ve never met, and most likely, NEVER WILL MEET on your phone. And if this does happen, make sure you don't travel the rest of the way home with a black mark on your face from the door. When getting on the escalator at the end of the night, if you are taller, go on a lower step, because logistics. If you go on a date and discover they own a flat in London, this will make you like them more even though it really shouldn't.58. You will get angry at Uber because of this in the cold light of day. You will learn where all the pubs that are nice but also usually have space are.63. Until you get to the sad penguins, who definitely don't want to be in the aquarium.69. If they utter the phrase "don't even get me started on evolution" it's probably not going to work out. If you bump into an ex on the tube, try not to let the doors close on your face as you say goodbye.55. Uber makes it too easy to drunkenly accept an (also drunken) late-night offer from an ex.61. You'll fall in love on the tube at least three times a day.71.




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