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By the same token, be sensitive to both of their feelings by not telling either of them about the time you may have spent with the other person and ensure both of them that anything discussed when you are with them will always be confidential.

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But its effects can ripple out into the splitting spouses' social spheres as well, often causing disruptions when friends and family members aren't sure about what they should say or do when it comes to interacting with the now-split couple. "A lot has to do with our own emotional reaction to a close friend or family member's divorce," says Margot Swann, founder and director of Visions Anew, a nonprofit divorce resource for woman.

If your families have always been close, you may find yourself in the position of being your friends' kids' confidant.

"Their children may talk to you before they talk to their own parents," notes Swann.

Presuming that the four of you are all friends, try your best not to choose sides or leave either of them out in the cold.

"Divorcing spouses often find they lose friends and are excluded from events they normally attended, which is a shame," says Swann.




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