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The most effective way to avoid that is by setting some limits right off the bat.

Sure, they may be doing you a favor by letting you live there, but it’s still appropriate to “have a direct conversation and set boundaries,” Amatenstein urges.

Though Meghan was offered one super-low-paying job in New York City, she realized “there was no way I'd be able to move to New York, or even afford a daily commute from my parents' home, with that salary.” So she packed it in and headed home to Mom and Dad’s, where she stayed for six months while she applied for even more gigs and figured out her next move.

Living at home “was not easy,” Meghan remembers — especially because her parents were enduring their own challenges at the time; they were going through a divorce.

“Once, I was out at a bar with friends, and a guy I [had a crush on] met up with us,” she remembers.

“We ended up going back to his place, and the whole time I was thinking, I have to be back home before my parents notice I stayed out all night. This level of control frustrated Carla, making her feel like she’d regressed. “I told her that I knew she was worried about me, but I was an adult who had already lived on her own, and I needed to be treated as such,” Carla explains.

But all in all, she found the whole situation almost impossibly awkward. Living at home definitely kept me from feeling comfortable meeting new people, and one time I flat-out lied about where I lived."That impulse is understandable, according to Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW, a New York-based couples' therapist.

Student debt and difficulty finding a job are sending millennials back home in droves — and though this type of arrangement is certainly easier on the wallet, it can wreak havoc on a young adult’s self-image.

The longest stretch lasted about two years in her mid-'20s: After getting laid off, Megan found a job working in a gym, but it paid too little for her to support herself.

Living with her parents definitely put a damper on her dating and social life.

Nothing kills the mood faster.”Another time, she went out for pizza with some friends after the bars had closed (she was 24 at the time). After that conversation, her mom and dad began putting in the effort “not to treat me like their child living at home, but their adult daughter living at home.”That’s exactly what needs to happen, Amatenstein insists.

One of the biggest risks involved in moving home is falling back into old family dynamics from childhood or adolescence: “It’s very easy to revert back to acting like a kid, because [maybe] you’re used to being treated like [one],” she says.




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