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Q: I spend many hours a week involved in online cybersex and checking out social networks for sex/relationship partners; I enjoy every moment. If you repeatedly spend more time on online looking for sex and love than you intend, if you continue this despite significant negative consequences in your life (examples: risking loss of relationships, job, health problems, time away from loved ones, recreation, or viewing illegal porn), and if you are obsessed or preoccupied with these activities when you should be focused on other aspects of your life, then you likely have an addiction or related problem.

Research suggests that those addicted to online sex or those with online pornography addiction spend at least 11 or 12 hours a week on the Internet, but often it’s double or triple that amount of time. Compulsive masturbation with or without pornography and compulsive viewing of porn with or without masturbation both present long-standing problems for many cybersex addicts.

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Many sex addicts constantly lie to their partners, keep sexual secrets, and find ways to justify their sexual behaviors.

Of course, now we know there were many women alcoholics.

Increasingly, 12 step sexual addiction recovery programs are welcoming women.

Q: The cybersex activities I most often engage in are masturbation with pornography. Whether it is through cybersex, phone sex lines, social networks, videos, smartphones, porn magazines, or simply through fantasy, sex addicts can lose hours daily to the isolating activities of fantasy and masturbation.

Loss of control, continuation despite negative life consequences, and preoccupation or obsession with the activity are the defining characteristics of any addiction.

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