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After a few months, we noticed that we have some hot topics.First, our kids: how they're doing in school, who has a runny nose, how many toys they've "accidentally" pilfered from preschool, blah, blah, blah."You got us out of that double date to go line dancing with your cousin?Awesome." "You wrestled that groundhog with your bare hands? I knew I married you for a reason." Then you can express your appreciation and your genuine concern: "You are amazing. " When these meetings happen more than once in a while, you start to interact differently with your partner.You just know more about your own efforts than your partner's. The good news is that when those same people found out what their partners were actually doing, they stopped overestimating their own contributions.You were there when you took out the garbage, went grocery shopping, and helped your kids with their homework. Weekly meetings make that possible: You learn about all the things that your partner has been carrying.It signals that it's a priority and allows you to tackle things before they spiral out of control. Finally, he told them about some classic evidence from the workplace: great managers have weekly one-on-one meetings with their employees. Don't you value your relationship with your partner at least as much as the one with your boss? Instead of checking a chore off your to-do list, you'll realize that you're helping with something that matters to your partner — and will make their day easier.

It looks like something's about to eat it." Turning toward would be, "I'm gonna get him. " Rather than, "Why is everything about the $#@%ing groundhog?!"When psychologists studied how couples responded to each other's bids, those who turned toward each other only 33 percent of the time ended up getting divorced over the next six years.Those who stayed together acknowledged each other's bids 86 percent of the time.And oh, I have an update on the pediatrician appointment." When that goes well, you can say, "That was really helpful.Why don't we have a quick check-in like that every week to make sure we're copacetic?




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Yet many friends of mine who had previously ruled out anyone with children on a dating site are now happily dating (or married to) single parents they met in real life.


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You have to be really clear on that and set your boundaries accordingly. That only means you won’t be meeting the men you are incompatible with and that’s not really a loss.